


Yet More Epilogue: James & the Giant Peach

by Lenalena



Series: Wait & Sea [3]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M, Prompt Fill
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-01
Updated: 2014-12-01
Packaged: 2018-02-27 16:43:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,683
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2700026
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lenalena/pseuds/Lenalena
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Get out. Get <i>out</i>, Rhodey! I can't fix War Machine if you hover over me like you think I'm going to replace the repulsors with pompoms."</p><p>or</p><p>How Colonel James Rhodes meets his Hero.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Yet More Epilogue: James & the Giant Peach

**Author's Note:**

> I asked for prompts and I got one from PrincessMariana: Steve and Rhodey should meet, and Rhodey should fangirl, and Tony should be all smug, and Steve should be embarrassed. :D
> 
> I wasn't planning on writing in this particular universe a lot more, but that prompt did kind of point out someone I'd missed writing about in the previous story. So. Have some Rhodey-flavored fluff! 
> 
> If you stumbled on this accidentally, you'll probably want to start with the first story in the Wait & Sea series.

 

"Steve Rogers sent you all these cards? As in _Captain America_ Steve Rogers? _That_ Steve Rogers?"

Tony looked aside at his friend. Col James Rhodes had a good poker face in general, he'd spent too much time putting up with Tony's shit not to, but he was taking in the display on DUMM-E's charging station a little wide eyed.

"Yes, _that_ Steve Rogers. Surely you've heard that he's been defrosted. You can't have missed the _trial of the century_." Tony didn't stoop to doing air quotes around 'trial of the century' but he couldn't avoid a little sarcastic emphasis on the words.

"Yeah, yeah. Sure. And I know you went on that cruise ship with him, but Tony..." Rhodey hesitantly touched a card of the world's largest frying pan with just the tip of one finger, as if he expected it to dissolve into smoke.

"But Tony, what? You don't believe the All American Hero would stoop to fucking me?" He really tried not to sound bitter, but that might not have been completely successful.

"Don't talk bullshit, man. Half my combat unit would fuck you, and I am not talking about just the women. But they wouldn't be sending you postcards afterward. Not on this scale, anyway. Tony, Captain America didn't just fuck you, Captain America has _feelings_ for you!" He turned to Tony with a look of mild horror on his face. "Oh my God, you're going to break his heart. You're going to do that thing you do when someone tries to get close to you and pretend you don't care and run for the hills. I mean, run to Vegas and try to drink yourself into a coma. With strippers and such... Jesus, Tony, you can't do that to him! Everyone is going to hate you when you do that to him!"

"I.... _What?_ I'm not gonna.... What makes you think he's even.... Rhodey! Seriously! He isn't.... He doesn't..... You think he has feelings for me?" That last bit sounded just pathetically hopeful, even Tony could admit that. That's what living a Sting-song did to a man, obviously. Tony Stark, living the Dream of the Blue Turtles!

Rhodey's face changed. He was having quite an expressive day today. The silence stretched uncomfortably while Rhodey stared at him and Tony was just about unleash some face saving sarcasm, when Rhodey spoke.

" _You_ have feelings for _him_. Don't you? You do. Oh my god, you really do." He turned and addressed the workshop at large, spreading his arms. "Tony Stark has feelings! For Captain America!" He started laughing and looked back at Tony. "Never thought I'd see the day, man. This is precious. Does Pepper know?"

"I'm sure she has picked up on something, somewhere along the line." Tony muttered. "Why are you laughing? This isn't funny."

Rhodey flung an arm around Tony's shoulders. "Not for you, no. But from where I am standing, my man, there is a whole lot of 'welcome to the human race' and 'fucking finally' going on. Tony Stark, brought down by love. Ah, the poetic justice of it!" His other hand grabbed Tony by the face and turned it towards him. Suddenly he looked deadly serious. Tony had been wrong, Rhodey had a poker face worth for shit.

"I swear Tony, if you break that man's heart, or if you drag him down to your level, I will end you. I know I am your friend, but if you fuck up my idol we are done. Got it?" He forced Tony's head up and down as if Tony was nodding voluntarily. "Say: Yes, Colonel Rhodes, I understand."

Tony did, although with the fingers digging into his cheeks it sounded more like: "Yus, Culnul Wuds, Oi unnustund."

 

***

_Six months later_

 

 

"Get out. Get _out_ , Rhodey! I can't fix War Machine if you hover over me like you think I'm going to replace the repulsors with pompoms."

"It's Iron Patriot now, man." Rhodey reluctantly took a step back.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever." Tony paused, then straightened up and pointed his screwdriver at Rodey. "You know what bugs me about that? You know what bugs me? That between Iron Man and Iron Patriot, I've suddenly become the generic dude and it is somehow implicated that by being a more patriotic version of me, you're somehow superior. _That_ is what bugs me!" He glared at Rhodey as if he'd personally decided to rename War Machine and it hadn't been a decision by a committee of generals. Rhodey grinned back.

"You picked up on that, huh? Tony Stark: vigilante, loose cannon, and potential renegade. I wonder why they were so eager to paint me as more patriotic than you?"

Tony made a face. "Fuck them and their competitive patriotism. If it weren't my best friend going into battle in this thing, I'd have had it shooting Twizzlers months ago. They can shove their superior flag waving up their collective asses as far as I am concerned."

"Aw, come on now, Tony. You're not going to tell me they hurt your feelings, are you? It's not like you are particularly patriotic or anything."

"Just because I don't wear stars and stripes underwear, doesn't mean-"

 

"Oh, but you do," came a voice from behind them.

 

Both men spun around and Tony smiled at the sight of Steve in his full Captain America get up striding into the workshop. He must have just returned from his visit to the Children's Hospital, one of the many charities Steve was involved in. It was a good thing Tony had Jarvis quietly screen Steve's calls, or he'd be volunteering for 5 year olds' birthday parties too and Tony would never see him again. Steve was sporting a lopsided smile and his eyes were twinkling behind the cowl. Tony grinned back.

"Excuse you, Mr Super Soldier, those were Captain America underwear, not stars and stripes."

"Are you saying Captain America is not the pinnacle of patriotism? You wound me, Tony." Steve was trying to pout while he pulled his cowl off, but his mouth kept pulling up in the corners and his hair ended up sticking up all over the place. It was adorable.

"I don't know, Steve. Are you? You ripped the Captain America underwear, remember? Trying to get them off me. That wasn't very patriotic, was it? Maybe it wasn't quite the same as burning the flag, but on a scale of -mmmpfh"

Steve had learned long ago that kissing was the most effective way to shut Tony up and Tony couldn't say he minded his methods very much. As always, his heart did a little stutter at the feel and the smell and the _nearness_ of Steve, and he was just about to slip him some tongue, when Rhodey coughed politely behind him. Steve pulled back with alacrity and Tony stomped down on the urge to pout. He ran his hand through his hair instead.

"Right..... Where are my manners? Steve, this is my friend, Colonel James Rhodes. Rhodey, this is Captain Steve Rogers." Steve smiled and held out his hand, but to Tony's surprise Rhodey didn't take it. Instead he clicked his heels together and his hand snapped to his forehead.

"Captain Rogers. It's an honor, sir." Rhodey was even doing the military voice thing. Tony scratched his beard and peeked at Steve, who was looking a bit uncomfortable. He'd dropped his hand and drawn up straight, with a slight blush covering his cheeks. Belatedly, he returned the salute.

"Colonel Rhodes. The honor is mine. Sir." There was a pregnant pause as both men held the salute while they stared at each other. Tony rolled his eyes. They ignored him.

"Okay. That was fun. At ease, people," he tried. Neither man budged. Tony sighed dramatically.

"For fuck's sake, Rhodes! One: You're indoors. Two: you're in civvies and three: you outrank Steve. You can't possibly expect him to tell you stand down, it would go against all military protocol and that's, like, Steve's religion. _You_ started this, now stop it. Stand the fuck down and shake the man's hand, you whacko fanboy." He could see the hesitation in Rhodey. "You're embarrassing him, Rhodes.” he sing-songed. “You're embarrassing Captain America. You're embarrassing _my_ _boyfriend_." Rhodey lowered his hand, finally, and held it out to Steve, who shook it with obvious relief.

"Pleased to meet you, Colonel Rhodes." Tony was sure Steve's smile was doing nothing to help cure Rhodey's internal squeeing. Or maybe he only had that effect on Tony.

"It's James. Pleasure is all mine, Captain Rogers."

"Please call me Steve. Tony would never let me live it down if you don't."

"I don't know how you put up with him." Rhodey reluctantly let go of Steve's hand and then turned to Tony.

"Since when do you know so much about military protocol?"

"You don't want to know. Trust me." Tony placed his hands on both men's backs and started pushing them out of the workshop. Beers were obviously in order or these guys would remain good little soldiers for another couple of hours and that would be boring.

"No, really, Tony. You knew squat about this shit before. What's with the recent expertise?"

"Alright then. You asked. See, Steve has this uniform from the forties. Looks reeeaaal good on him, you know. And when he wears it to bed, he's insists on proper - " Tony's mouth was suddenly covered by Steve's hand and he only caught a quick glance of Steve's blush before his head was unceremoniously pinned under Steve's arm.

Then it turned into a blur of Rhodey going "Never mind!" And Steve apologizing profusely for Tony's lack of discretion and Tony cackling like a maniac, muffled by Steve's hand.

 

 

Four beers later though, when both military dudes had relented and relaxed and were trading war stories like old pals, he leaned close to Steve's ear and whispered just loud enough: "Permission to suck you, _Sir!"_ Steve turned beet red of course and elbowed him in the side, but Tony smiled smugly, because he knew exactly what Steve would be wearing to bed later.

**Author's Note:**

> I post writing updates on [tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/marilenalena).


End file.
